this was in no way a good film. i went into it expecting jumper the second, stylistic and sexy, but having no substance or twists. i was half right, but it's a clear upgrade over jumper.
first of all, i can't take chris evans as a serious actor for any reason. he was in not another teen movie, and like chyler leigh and josh radnor, he's forever tied to that in my mind. fantastic four didn't really redeem him, even if he played a more grown up version of his natm role as johnny storm. in push, he's a reluctant leader of a resistance, sort of. i'll buy it, because i always believe people are reluctant leaders, deep inside.
dakota fanning, normally a relatively solid choice, gave flashes of what i expect of her future. i think she'll be a little bit of drew barrymore. i was convinced her character would try to seduce chris's - "i'm thirteen, and i've been told i look fourteen." her range as a psychic is fairly unimpressive, but "push" limits the skills of its special powers noticeably. instead of being stan lee's all powerful mutants, the movers and shakers in "push" are regular people who go to the gym a bit more than average.
the plot of push was pretty disposable. i was actually most impressed (i'm not sure if i'm kidding here) by the amount of times the writers managed to say "you could kill this character, but that changes the future, so you should just stop." it's equal parts lazy and very lazy, considering. and since i know there are predictive movies (next, paycheck, minority report) that do it better, i have to admit wondering for much of the film why i didn't save myself the popcorn money and watch one of those on dvd at home.
the upside of push, really, is the expected bad guys - government controlled powers who abuse their powers. the run of the mill talents show off less for most of the film, and watching the government psychics, telekenetics, and mind controllers is actually pretty entertaining. if there had been more UFC style telekenetic fisticuffs, i could have truly overlooked all the faults of the film (except dakota fanning's too convincing decline from respected child star to child prostitute). as is, i'm not surprised the word of mouth hasn't been any better than existed around jumper, but "push" will be a fairly decent cable actioner in a year or two - jumper never will be.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Film: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li
Starring: Kristin Kreuk, Chris Klein, Neal McDonough, and Michael Clarke Duncan
Seriously, I watched this because insomnia owns my soul.
On the one hand, this was a movie premised entirely on the idea that (Smallville alum) Kristen Kreuk is pretty and will look good contorting herself. This is pretty accurate, as movie premises go. On the other hand, it’s also premised on the idea that Kreuk is capable of carrying a film as a lead. As I learned with her previous starring vehicle Snow White, she really can’t.
Kreuk plays Chun Li, stalwart of the beloved Capcom Street Fighter franchise. Kreuk, whose acting range fit Smallville perfectly, is an awkward fit here. In Smallville, Lana Lang is expected to be afraid or in danger constantly, and on occasion is expected to look angry at Clark Kent for hiding his secrets from her. At times, Chun Li is required by the script to look afraid, but mostly in flashbacks to her childhood. By the time Kreuk takes the role, Chun Li is equal parts anger and Zen. At no point is her scared face convincing or appropriate.
The film, for no particular reason, gives Kruek the task of narrating the backstory. Perhaps seeking to present her as convincingly un-American, the narration is stunted and slow, almost painfully forced. It actually distracts from the grace of Chun Li’s piano playing and efforts to learn martial arts.
For little to no reason, Chun Li leaves her semi-charmed life to avenge the kidnapping of her father at the hands of a crime lord. Living like a street rat (but without an anthropomorphic monkey), Chun Li learns martial arts and respect for the unjustly treated people she lives with. At some point, she decides to become their avenger and protector. Her decision places her against the crime lord who kidnapped her father, naturally enough. As expected, she beats up a number of his assassins and employees, including Wolverine knock-off Vega and some random woman, because the film requires a video game tie-in and the requisite cat fight.
The crime lord, played by Neal McDonough, also employs Michael Clark Duncan, who explains all of the bad guys’ motivations in a low but pleasant voice, and provides occasional villainous chuckling. Duncan also uses a rocket launchers, because there were a bunch of those in the Street Fighter games, apparently. Apparently the pair are very ruthless and like getting their own hands dirty, because they’re true villains. Even so, the authorities don’t believe they exist.
But Hark! The crime lord angle draws the attention of Interpol agent Chris Klein. Unlike his surprisingly charming turn in American Pie or slightly manic turn in the Ryan Reynolds showcase Just Friends, Klein isn’t really given much to turn his character into someone you care about either way. He attempts to channel the (hyperannoying) throaty growl adopted by Christian Bale in The Dark Knight to good effect, and spouts one liners and clichés that are neither funny nor timely throughout his screen time. Partnered with a lovely Chinese cop, Klein’s agent breaks laws and shouts at people and maybe provides unnecessary romantic tension, but not with Chun Li. This is probably important to the plot or whatever.
Around 45 minutes into its run time, Legend devolves into a series of fist fights and chase scenes that lack the imagination and intensity of your average round of the actual video game. At some point, Chun Li learns how to wire fight and use magic to punch people from several feet away, but only so other, even duller characters can also use wires and magic to stitch the plot together like a ragdoll. Some convoluted reasons are provided for moving characters into different settings for fighting each other, like temples and rooftops and shipyards, but ultimately, nothing makes this movie any different from your average John Cena actioner. Of course, so far, John Cena movies haven’t tried to squeeze your childhood in hopes of getting blood out.
Seriously, I watched this because insomnia owns my soul.
On the one hand, this was a movie premised entirely on the idea that (Smallville alum) Kristen Kreuk is pretty and will look good contorting herself. This is pretty accurate, as movie premises go. On the other hand, it’s also premised on the idea that Kreuk is capable of carrying a film as a lead. As I learned with her previous starring vehicle Snow White, she really can’t.
Kreuk plays Chun Li, stalwart of the beloved Capcom Street Fighter franchise. Kreuk, whose acting range fit Smallville perfectly, is an awkward fit here. In Smallville, Lana Lang is expected to be afraid or in danger constantly, and on occasion is expected to look angry at Clark Kent for hiding his secrets from her. At times, Chun Li is required by the script to look afraid, but mostly in flashbacks to her childhood. By the time Kreuk takes the role, Chun Li is equal parts anger and Zen. At no point is her scared face convincing or appropriate.
The film, for no particular reason, gives Kruek the task of narrating the backstory. Perhaps seeking to present her as convincingly un-American, the narration is stunted and slow, almost painfully forced. It actually distracts from the grace of Chun Li’s piano playing and efforts to learn martial arts.
For little to no reason, Chun Li leaves her semi-charmed life to avenge the kidnapping of her father at the hands of a crime lord. Living like a street rat (but without an anthropomorphic monkey), Chun Li learns martial arts and respect for the unjustly treated people she lives with. At some point, she decides to become their avenger and protector. Her decision places her against the crime lord who kidnapped her father, naturally enough. As expected, she beats up a number of his assassins and employees, including Wolverine knock-off Vega and some random woman, because the film requires a video game tie-in and the requisite cat fight.
The crime lord, played by Neal McDonough, also employs Michael Clark Duncan, who explains all of the bad guys’ motivations in a low but pleasant voice, and provides occasional villainous chuckling. Duncan also uses a rocket launchers, because there were a bunch of those in the Street Fighter games, apparently. Apparently the pair are very ruthless and like getting their own hands dirty, because they’re true villains. Even so, the authorities don’t believe they exist.
But Hark! The crime lord angle draws the attention of Interpol agent Chris Klein. Unlike his surprisingly charming turn in American Pie or slightly manic turn in the Ryan Reynolds showcase Just Friends, Klein isn’t really given much to turn his character into someone you care about either way. He attempts to channel the (hyperannoying) throaty growl adopted by Christian Bale in The Dark Knight to good effect, and spouts one liners and clichés that are neither funny nor timely throughout his screen time. Partnered with a lovely Chinese cop, Klein’s agent breaks laws and shouts at people and maybe provides unnecessary romantic tension, but not with Chun Li. This is probably important to the plot or whatever.
Around 45 minutes into its run time, Legend devolves into a series of fist fights and chase scenes that lack the imagination and intensity of your average round of the actual video game. At some point, Chun Li learns how to wire fight and use magic to punch people from several feet away, but only so other, even duller characters can also use wires and magic to stitch the plot together like a ragdoll. Some convoluted reasons are provided for moving characters into different settings for fighting each other, like temples and rooftops and shipyards, but ultimately, nothing makes this movie any different from your average John Cena actioner. Of course, so far, John Cena movies haven’t tried to squeeze your childhood in hopes of getting blood out.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Film: The New Guy
Title: The New Guy (2002)
Starring: DJ Qualls, Eliza Dushku, Lyle Lovett, Zooey Deschanel
Why It's Terrible: As a derivative film of a derivative genre, The New Guy offers almost nothing new. The jokes, such as they are, weren't new or revolutionary following the American Pie gross-outs, and not exactly a stellar send-up after 2001's Not Another Teen Movie. The characters were the definition of trite. Eliza Dushku, who I love with a fiery passion, is comfortable playing manic pixie dream girl, but the role should never have been written in that fashion. The awful parenting that is always displayed in these movies is never so bad that it feels like Qualls actually should be rebelling.
Why I love it: Eliza Dushku. She is convincing as a bad girl turned slightly moral. Her bikini fashion show is pretty much exactly the same as her role in Bring It On was. She's bubbly, and convincingly teenager in the film, and shows pretty much the only on-screen growth.
Zooey. She has a voice, and the best of the slight plot twists in the film.
Cameos. Appearances from Lovett, Rob Van Winkle, Kool Mo Dee, Henry Rollins, and a host of other musicians should have cemented the 2002 film as one of the best pop culture referencing films of the 1990s. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work. Alas.
Ed Ligget, tuba. The shorter gentleman band member starts off a one-note geek, and through Qualls's forced maturation becomes at least a three-note joke. As all of the unreasonably hot "high school" girls of Highland High start throwing themselves at the nerdier characters, Ed's couple is the most believable conquest.
As with many high school movies, the antics of the sports team is the means through which the plot is advanced. However, because Qualls doesn't play on the team, we're not left suffering through the montages that show us how the team gets better. Instead, we get, improbably, straight to the heart of the matter - is the geek from one high school able to change his stars at another? Ultimately, we don't really care. We like Qualls enough want him to get the stunning Dushku, and we want the jocks who completely lack redeeming qualities to be worse for the wear. We want the popular kids to be less dismissive, and we expect, somehow that the mindless high school herd will become thoughtful and forgiving.
Starring: DJ Qualls, Eliza Dushku, Lyle Lovett, Zooey Deschanel
Why It's Terrible: As a derivative film of a derivative genre, The New Guy offers almost nothing new. The jokes, such as they are, weren't new or revolutionary following the American Pie gross-outs, and not exactly a stellar send-up after 2001's Not Another Teen Movie. The characters were the definition of trite. Eliza Dushku, who I love with a fiery passion, is comfortable playing manic pixie dream girl, but the role should never have been written in that fashion. The awful parenting that is always displayed in these movies is never so bad that it feels like Qualls actually should be rebelling.
Why I love it: Eliza Dushku. She is convincing as a bad girl turned slightly moral. Her bikini fashion show is pretty much exactly the same as her role in Bring It On was. She's bubbly, and convincingly teenager in the film, and shows pretty much the only on-screen growth.
Zooey. She has a voice, and the best of the slight plot twists in the film.
Cameos. Appearances from Lovett, Rob Van Winkle, Kool Mo Dee, Henry Rollins, and a host of other musicians should have cemented the 2002 film as one of the best pop culture referencing films of the 1990s. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work. Alas.
Ed Ligget, tuba. The shorter gentleman band member starts off a one-note geek, and through Qualls's forced maturation becomes at least a three-note joke. As all of the unreasonably hot "high school" girls of Highland High start throwing themselves at the nerdier characters, Ed's couple is the most believable conquest.
As with many high school movies, the antics of the sports team is the means through which the plot is advanced. However, because Qualls doesn't play on the team, we're not left suffering through the montages that show us how the team gets better. Instead, we get, improbably, straight to the heart of the matter - is the geek from one high school able to change his stars at another? Ultimately, we don't really care. We like Qualls enough want him to get the stunning Dushku, and we want the jocks who completely lack redeeming qualities to be worse for the wear. We want the popular kids to be less dismissive, and we expect, somehow that the mindless high school herd will become thoughtful and forgiving.
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